memento mori........

Remember you are mortal...

Not necessary a negative thinking,just a reminder how vulnerable we are, how we should not take things for granted.

Carpe diem, sieze the day, life your day to the fullest like there is no tomorrow.

But when I am trusting nothing in the future and believing there is no tomorrow, I also realized the vulnerability for doing that. Help others, treat others nicely, do as much as you can each day, tell someone you love them not waiting for tomorrow. All these are nice thoughts, I believe in it so much i left myself wide open believing there is no harm coming my way. I believe other easily but find it hard to trust someone. I care how I care for other and forget how other has treated me.

I asked my friends once a question, would you give your boyfriend/girlfriend half of your kidney? They always ask back the same question, depend how close he/she is, depend what kind of person he/she is, depend how I feel about he/she. I think back on how I will answer that question, I will be happy to help if I capable of. I have always answered that question like that, then i learn more and more about life, and that day, I didn't answer that question at all, cause I have lost my way.

May be someone out there who is older and wiser can tell me, is it true the more we see life as it is, the more we learn, and the more we are afraid of losing it? Is it true that the older we live, we treasure life even more? Is getting more mature meaning running into a fire to save someone became out of question?

The higher being never let us choose who live or who died, i am pretty sure I don't have that control too. So if I don't get to say how long i will live and how I will died, should I care less about my own life? In situation when I get to choose I live or someone else died, what will i choose? If I choose to sacrifice, will that mean I commit suicide to let someone else live? Who get to say who is better to live and who is better off dead?

Today i am thinking, if being a helpful person make me vulnerable, what will i choose to be.